Chronic Coughers Against COVID-19

Reader Submission:

This ridiculous virus has made it a terrible time to be a chronic cougher anywhere in the world.  Listen, I know you are scared but just because someone has a cough does not mean that they have your little COVID-19.  Many of us are old school and have had our cough since before COVID-19 was even a thing.

People cough for different reasons, sometimes for no other reason other than their throat being dry or the air being cold.  The world really needs to stop freaking out and use some common sense.  COVID-19 is a dry cough typically accompanied by fever and flu-like feelings.  I can’t speak on behalf of the ladies but I can tell you that when I have the flu, I’m the biggest bitch in the world and you damn sure won’t see me roaming around the supermarket.

The other day my chronic bronchitis was acting up and I didn’t have my inhaler on me, you would have thought that I had the plague of leprosy the way people scattered, good thing we weren’t in an elevator, some may have legit suffered heart attacks judging by the looks on their faces.

Why is everyone so terrified of this thing?  Are folks dying and coming back to life or something that nobody told me about?  Everyone needs to stop, take a deep breath and look around.  The world is going to be real chaotic, real soon.  What is next?  Looting (Aka Surviving)?

People are buying toilet paper like they aren’t going to be manufacturing it anymore and it’s your “last chance”.  I personally think that the supermarkets should be taping boxes of condoms to each pack of toilet paper because clearly the world already has enough idiots,  let’s stop them at the source.

COVID-19 being hyped up by the media has made everyone think that this is it.  They are all going to dry a tragic death and the world is going to come to an end.  I don’t know how long any of you have been alive, but I have survived quite a few of these end of the world viruses and predictions already.  This will be just another t-shirt to add to the collection when it is all said and done.

My personal opinion is that there are a lot of easier ways to die than contracting this new flu (because that is essentially what it is).  They also say that most cases are very mild.  I’ve had dengue fever and it is IMPOSSIBLE for this virus to top that pain.  I’m going to go on living my life, with my non-coronavirus cough.  I can just see us getting to a point where there will be a hotline that you can call if you should happen to hear your neighbour’s coughing if this thing gets anymore out of hand.

Pull yourselves together people!  Wash your nasty hands frequently, dong touch your nasty face, if you do feel sick, take your ass to the hospital and get checked and for all of you out there that have a chronic cough like me, stock up on inhalers and fisherman’s friend lozenges.  It is only going to get worse for us before it gets better.