If there is one thing that American companies understand, it is that sex sells. That being said, it isn’t always easy to get too sexy with Americans these days. Americans are among the most offended and sensitive people on the planet, especially the newer generation snowflakes.
When is the last time you looked at a McDonald’s advertisement back in the states and your mind instantly went to your pervy place? The answer is probably never; Unless you have some kind of sick Big Mac fetish that nobody really cares to know about.
Most McDonald’s back home try to get you to bite with pictures and videos of the most perfect burger you have ever seen, when really what you are seeing are nothing more than a painted prop and some special effects. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing quite like the image of a big juicy burger to get your mouth watering but that’s about the only emotion you’ll get from it….hunger.
The emotions that you get while watching a McDonald’s advertisement in Thailand are a little bit steamier than a bunch of fat people huddled around a television looking at a burger. The advertisements here will have you wanting that same burger, with a side of thighs!
Even McDonald’s Valentine’s Day advertisements were enough to give you a little mahogany:
วาเลนไทน์นี้ ไม่ว่าจะคนมีคู่หรือคนโสด ก็มาอิ่มเอมความรักไปกับเมนูเบอร์เกอร์โปรด⁰ของคุณกันได้ที่แมคโดนัลด์
แล้วมาทายกันว่า 3 เงาปริศนาสุดน่ากินในรูป คือเมนูฮิตเมนูใดของแมคโดนัลด์
Burger Lover ตัวจริง ต้องตอบให้ได้นะ! #McDValentinesDay #ImLovinIt #McDonalds pic.twitter.com/lUojfs7e14— McDonald’s Thailand (@McThai) February 14, 2020
American drive-thrus can leave you feeling a number of ways depending on how the service goes. Typically the emotions you get from them are either happy because you got your food quick and the order was correct or disappointed because you asked for “No Mayo!”
The drive-through windows in Thailand will have you wanting to flip around and go through them again:
McDonald’s. Horny on main. #imlovinit pic.twitter.com/J0Y9b3XX2x
— Ngaio Bealum (@ngaio420) July 12, 2019
If you are tired of your fast food only making your mouth water and you need a little more, there is only one course of action. You must break away from the machine that is America and set out in search of a land whose people are not so offended and non-sexual.
I dunno about you, but I could really go for a little meat between two buns after all this burger talk 😉 I’m headed over to those golden arches in the sky, where you can have your food and leave ready for the party that awaits you here in Pattaya.