Pattaya Unplugged,

I wanted to start off by thanking you all for bringing me stories out of Thailand every day, it goes a long way to making this ageing man smile when I get to hear about what is going on over there.  Keep doing what you guys are doing, it is great!

Now, let’s talk about the current situation around the world.  I know you all over there see what is going on in the news and such but the amount of crazies out raiding the supermarkets for what they call “essential items” is getting a little out of hand.  It has gotten so bad here in Seattle that I’ve had to start choosing whether or not I would like to wipe my ass with a sock or with a dryer sheet (the dryer sheets are nice because they give your brown eye a wonderful “clean linen” smell).

I was one of the dumb ones who was a little worried about travelling, so I postponed my Thailand trip until later…WORST DECISION EVER!  I let the virus fear get the better of me on that judgement call and have regretted it since the day the plane took off without me.  I could be basking in the sun on the tourist-free beaches and actually enjoying myself instead of freezing my balls off and waiting for a virus that may or may not decide to get me and watching people go crazy over what they consider to be essential pandemic items.

I’m not exactly sure when stocking eggs for a pandemic became a thing but it is happening.  It would seem as though people are not aware that eggs expire fairly quickly.  Some of these people are buying enough eggs to run an omelette shop for 4 to 5 months easily.  Not sure exactly what they plan on doing with the eggs though?  Freezing them?

Coming up my Gran used to freeze everything and I do mean everything.  When McDonald’s had a sale on, gran was there buying up cheeseburgers and french fries like they were going out of style.  Bread, walnuts and milk were also frozen in one of her many freezers.  One day after finding a bag of walnuts dated from like five years before I had to ask her.  “Grandma, WHY do you keep this stuff!”  Without missing a beat, gran looked at me and replied, “Have you ever lived through a depression?”  I couldn’t argue.

Yesterday, however, I called gran and asked if she had been stocking up for the coronavirus and she just laughed and said there was no way she was going to go out among those crazies just to get some toilet paper that she didn’t need anyway.  She did all of her shopping on Amazon instead…  Leave it to gran to be smarter than the throngs of doomsday preppers.

To everyone online that is asking whether or not you should cancel your trip, don’t do it.  Unless there are travel restrictions in place that prevent you from getting there…go.  The media is whipping people into a frenzy with this virus thing and it will only be a matter of time before crazy Americans start acting like it is a zombie apocalypse (remember, we have lots of guns).  The crazy is NOT just limited to America though, Australians are legitimately getting into fistfights over toilet paper as well.

So many stories are coming out now from people that have been diagnosed with the coronavirus that says not to worry, it is truly just mild flu-like symptoms for most people.  I say keep your travel but be responsible!  If you do happen to start feeling sick, get yourself to a doctor and do the right thing and quarantine yourself so that you aren’t out there getting anyone else sick that may die from it.

If you really aren’t sick though, why hide from it?  If it is as bad as everyone believes it to be, it is going to get you at home or abroad.  Personally I’d rather be stuck in a beautiful tropical paradise (especially if it does turn out to be the end of days).  At least if I was in Thailand I’d be able to put down the dryer sheets in exchange for a bum gun and a few beautiful ladies!

Wishing you all the best over there in Thailand.  Stay safe, stay healthy and stay sane!  Things here are not good at the moment and only seem like they will get worse before they get better.   Be thankful that you are in Thailand and not in the media-driven madness elsewhere.

Respectfully Submitted,

Matthew Henry

 

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