It seems the whole world is going down the toilet with this Virus Malarkey, so i thought it might be an ideal time for a quick flash in the pan! And of course, something to lighten the mood!

This visual treat is actually opposite to the scenic Jomtien Beach and you can cross Beach Road and take pleasure in using it for a meager five baht. For the regulars here it is a general base model that can be found up and down the country. There is no simple handle to turn, but your success can be flushed away with the simple plastic scoop using the water, which can be as this one, in a concrete well, or just a plastic dustbin or a large ceramic pot like the one below. The one above is actually a flush with the ground model. The one below is the same, but it is a step up, not in the amount of pleasure you might get, but it is about a foot higher off the ground!

Ok sorry, looks like someone forgot to flush! Anyway you are getting the idea, no sitting around reading the newspaper here, place a foot on each side and squat. For me I just can not get the job done on one of these. I could tell you about how I got on, in one of those emergency situations where there is no “proper”  toilet and there is no waiting time to be had, but I don’t want to spoil your day, maybe I should just hint at the inherent inaccuracy of someone not used to this form of deposit.

I am just guessing here, but sometimes neighbours do not want you to go to the toilet! At least next to their front gate. This is from Udon Thani around their bar areas.


This is a work of art in stainless steel, it was in some services we dropped into, on the way to Chaiyaphum, very new and modern. The first urinal with a handrail is a great idea and should be made mandatory in every bar for the unsteady customer!

This one is from The Players Sports Bar in Soi Buakhao, also the home of Prime Burger, and shows where the term “Crapper” originated from. I think “Going for a Tom” just does not have the same ring to it!

This one is up in the North in Chiang Mai, very eco friendly, well if you excuse chopping down a tree! The double unit is time saving and allows multi tasking, as you can take a whizz and wash your hands at the same time!

Ok back to Soi Buakow just behind The Avenue on Soi 15 , The Hideaway Guest House Restaurant and Bar. It is actually a 12 minute or so walk to the real beach, so you could just pop in here for a look at their Beach Scene seat and save some time. They also have an excellent external toilet block with disabled facilities for their customers. 

This was a great place, in Phai Mai Park I think, up in Korat, we stopped at a homestay (aka Motel) and there was a narrow pond along the front of the rooms. It was tadpole heaven, and of course in the evenings supported by a chorus from their incessantly croaky parents! We did not find anything hiding under the bed, but look closely at that decorative sink!

Ok on to Khao Yai National Park, these were a surprise feature in Lan Lee Lar Coffee Shop/Restaurant we popped into for some grub. A bonus was finding they had good food and a local wine,  a Syrah Cabernet from Asoke Valley, just on the northern edge of Khao Yai Park!

Ok back to the beach, these two will help you choose the His or Hers Toilets at The Glass House Beachfront Restaurant at Najomtien. A great place and you can sit with your feet in the sand or sit in the building with sea views on more than one level.

This is the Urinals at the Sportsman, Soi 13, between Beach Road and The Avenue. No boredom standing here going about your business, apart from admiring the aesthetic lines of the blue pipe, the wall is full of jokes and anecdotes to read! Just remember to stand in a different position on each visit to have some new reading material!

Ok this is a new house on a new estate. We move in and have been there about two to three weeks. Grandson stays overnight and in the morning does what you do. He was probably about 6 years old at the time,maybe a bit younger. I go in the loo and there is a some poo on the floor at the side of the toilet. He is old enough not to miss like that, so I assume it has been projected by mistake in his efforts to clean up!

Well he got the blame but he denied it! (and rightly so!)

So the next day the loo is flushed and stuff comes out of the rear of the toilet at floor level. We contact the office who send a guy to fix whatever is the problem. He lifts the toilet and we can see there is a blockage and the hole is full. Your man then pokes a variety of things into the sewer pipe and eventually it is unblocked. So he is about to just bed the toilet back on a ring of mortar when my plumbing knowledge kicks in.

The toilet was fitted on top of the soil pipe, but there is no actual connection between them! Gravity makes the toilet empty into the hole, but without a connection between them there will be smells coming in as well as potential leaks out if there is a blockage again!

So with lots of pointing and translating he goes away and returns with a bit of pipe to fill the gap!

All is well with the world now. Well, for about three days, when the soil pipe backs up again and things start coming out of the back of the adjacent toilet in the next room!

So a new man arrives and we have to go through all this again. Apparently this chap knows about plumbing, he does not understand why I have an issue with wanting to seal the toilet and soil pipe together…….because apparently every house in the village is the same!!

Ok well worth popping into this loo for a chat with this girl, only thing is I can not remember where she is!

Ok back up to the village for this one. A very convenient bracket and shelf for when you are having a shower to keep all the shampoo etc handy. There are of course a couple of issues though…..there is only cold water which is applied with the plastic dish and there is no lock on the door. Well there is actually no door, or roof or walls for that matter, it is just out in the open at the back of the house!

For the men it is not so bad, for the ladies they have a shower wrapped in a Panung, which is basically a sheet sown down the front allowing access which is then folded in as if wearing a towel. 

Ok we are back to Patts for this one, well out on Mabprachan Lake, there is enough room to swing the proverbial cat in this loo. New and clean, but before you sit down for your performance, you need to check no-one is on the other side using these…because they are all the same room! If you want to check them out they are ready and waiting at The Loft Resort, Sports Bar and Grill.

Ok I understand the need for signs, but really, would you need these signs to comply, in this gents toilet in a beer bar complex!!

Staying with Koh Chang, this is from the Tree Tops Adventure Park, last chance to go before continuing around the tree tops on an adventure!

Ok, just to finish on a positive, not every toilet in Thailand is a step backwards, this fine example from Terminal 21 in Pattaya would be welcome at NASA HQ, and yes, it is only rocket scientists that can operate it! With a variety of controls for temperature, front and rear firing water jets and warm air drying, you need to remain seated throughout the performance! You can sit and read the paper here and, at the same time, get your Nether Regions pampered!

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