abc.com

In case you haven’t heard, the sky is falling.  The world has gone into full panic mode over the COVID-19 virus.

Countries around the world are cancelling major events, setting up quarantine zones for travellers returning from abroad and ultimately and unnecessarily spinning up the masses with tons of apocalyptic hypothesis being generated by hip-pocket professionals across the media.

One thing that is for certain, the toilet paper companies around the world are making a killing, you know, in those less-civilized countries that still would rather smear their faecal matter around than wash it off.

The shelves of supermarkets worldwide are emptying and toilet paper may actually be winning out over other necessities such as water and diapers.  One thing is for certain when the looting starts, there won’t be any toilet paper to be had in western countries and Thailand will have a surplus.

The thing I can’t seem to understand is that COVID-19 is a respiratory illness (In many cases like a moderate flu-like feeling).  That being said, with the toilet paper shortage worldwide, you would have thought the disease had something to do with your balloon knot and not your lungs.  Why the need for so much toilet paper when it doesn’t even get the job done in the first place?  Someone needs to explain this one to me.

A pneumonia-like virus is running around and it is like the world decided to all make an earthquake prep kit at the same time.  How about buying items that will help, you know, like soap and water?  Or, instead of wasting $400.00 on enough toilet paper to wipe the asses of a dozen cities, just go down to the local hardware store and install a bum gun on your toilet for $10.00.

With all the craziness surrounding this ridiculous fad of a virus, people are legit losing their minds.  Stop for a moment and think people!  Wash your hands frequently, avoid contact with large groups of unknown individuals when necessary, get to a hospital if you start showing symptoms but for the love of all things holy, clean your ass with water!

I am shamefully American and I approve this message.

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